I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize