And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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