there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
