So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
whose parrot is this?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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