like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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