The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
