Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
