forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You are the jesus of drinking
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
