we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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