My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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