Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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