think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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