Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I see more hoeing in ur future
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