Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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