You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
