She's JV to your varsity
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
