dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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