I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
