He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
