Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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