I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
