Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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