I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize