Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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