I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
