Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
