you will always have a special place in my vag
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
