she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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