At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
