I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
