You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
