I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
