i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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