He had one of those small greek statue penises
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
