A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
