Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
