we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
