Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
