you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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