You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
