yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
