Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
