Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize