how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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