Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
