About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
