is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
A bitchslap is in order.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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