Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
