dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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