I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
