I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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