so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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