do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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