Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
