I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
