first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
