Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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