You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
