He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
