ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
