Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
