Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's the barista slut.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
